Dachshunds, affectionately known as wiener dogs or sausage dogs, are small but mighty canines with big personalities. Despite their diminutive size, they often rule the roost with an iron paw, setting forth a list of rules that their human companions must adhere to. Here are 13 strict rules that dachshunds have established for humans to follow:
1. Thou Shalt Provide Belly Rubs on Demand:
Dachshunds demand regular belly rubs and cuddles, and failure to comply will result in persistent whining and pleading looks until the belly rub quota is met.
2. No Ignoring the Morning Walk Routine:
Dachshunds take their daily walks very seriously. Skipping the morning walk is simply not an option, as it’s essential for maintaining their physical health and mental well-being.
3. Thou Shalt Share Thy Food:
Dachshunds firmly believe that sharing is caring, especially when it comes to food. They expect a portion of whatever their humans are eating and will employ their signature puppy dog eyes to guilt-trip their way into getting a taste.
4. No Sleeping Alone:
Dachshunds are notorious cuddlers and insist on sleeping in the bed with their humans. Attempts to banish them to their own sleeping quarters will be met with persistent barking and scratching at the bedroom door.
5. Thou Shalt Provide a Throne for Surveying Thy Kingdom:
Dachshunds demand a designated perch from which to survey their domain. Whether it’s a comfy armchair by the window or a plush bed in the living room, they require a throne fit for a royal hound.
6. No Leaving Without Saying Goodbye:
Dachshunds have separation anxiety in spades and expect a proper farewell before their humans leave the house. Failure to provide adequate goodbye kisses and belly rubs will result in a guilt trip of epic proportions upon return.
7. Thou Shalt Respect Nap Time:
Dachshunds take their beauty sleep seriously and expect humans to do the same. Interrupting nap time with loud noises or excessive activity is strictly prohibited.
8. No Denying Access to the Couch:
Dachshunds believe that all furniture belongs to them, especially the couch. Attempts to restrict access will be met with stubborn resistance and passive-aggressive sulking.
9. Thou Shalt Provide Ample Toys for Entertainment:
Dachshunds require a variety of toys to keep them entertained and mentally stimulated. Failure to provide sufficient toys will result in destructive chewing of household items.
10. No Skimping on Treats:
Dachshunds have a keen sense of smell and will sniff out treats from miles away. They expect a steady supply of tasty treats for good behavior and will not take no for an answer.
11. Thou Shalt Always Be Available for Playtime:
Dachshunds have boundless energy and expect their humans to keep up with their playtime demands. Whether it’s a game of fetch in the backyard or a romp at the dog park, humans must always be ready for playtime.
12. No Invading Personal Space Without Permission:
Dachshunds value their personal space and expect humans to do the same. Attempts to invade their personal bubble without permission will be met with snarls and growls.
13. Thou Shalt Shower Thy Dachshund with Love and Affection:
Above all else, dachshunds require unconditional love and affection from their human companions. They thrive on attention and will reward their humans with endless loyalty and devotion in return.
In conclusion, dachshunds may be small in stature, but they wield immense power over their human counterparts with their adorable antics and irresistible charm. By following these 13 strict rules, humans can ensure a harmonious relationship with their dachshund overlords and bask in the endless love and companionship they provide.
